The Big Burninating

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The Big Burninating
The Big Burninating
An artists rendition of The Big Burninating by local artist Arturo Ilisástigui
TypeDisaster
Victims3148
SuspectCarl X. Chicken

The Big Burninating was an event taking place in mid-March of 2021. The government of the island has officially classified it as a national disaster. The authorities are still researching what happened exactly, but the few details that have come out since the start of the investigation paint a fairly grim picture. The lead suspect in the case, Carl X. Chicken, has only been heard from sporadically and has not expressed any form of regret for his actions so far.

The events that transpired

On the eve of March 20th, 2021 a party took place in the Pixlton Town Hall. The party was in honor of the Pixltonians receiving their very first personal identification cards. Something that had been sorely missing on the island ever since it became inhabited. Everyone now had a name and could prove that they existed. Partially spearheading this project was the suspect, Carl X. Chicken. The party went down as one would expect any good party to go down. Backstreet Boys blasting through the stereo, non-alcoholic beer being consumed, people double dipping their snacks, and some pretty awkard dancing.

Just as the party was about to end, roughly at 7 PM due to evening curfews, the first signs that something wasn't right started to emerge. A lot of guests reminisce smelling something akin to the smell of barbeque. Because the menu at the party consisted exclusively of warm-up meals from the 724 store this struck some party-goers as odd. When smoke started to fill the room it became obvious that there was a fire in one of the wings of the Town Hall. The main party room was immediately evacuated, but due to the piss poor firefighter infrastructure the entire eastern wing of the Town Hall burned down to the ground.

The investigation

The authorities started a thorough investigation into what happened the day after the incident. The village also held a headcount on the main square to verify the number of possible casualties. Preliminary counts tallied the total number of victims at 3148. However, upon closer inspection of the burn site, no actual remains were ever found. Regardless, the 3148 missing people were also never found, so it is assumed they all perished in the fire.

The investigation quickly turned to the last person seen leaving the eastern wing of the Town Hall, Carl X. Chicken. Witnesses put him in the eastern wing barely minutes before the burn event happened. Written statements suggest that he was smoking a cigar there because it was raining outside. However, because the eastern wing also housed the Pixlton library containing old parchments that detailed all kinds of historical events, investigators quickly managed to piece a few of these details together. Combined with the fact that Carl has gone missing ever since this puts him firmly in the number one suspect spot. Various search operations have taken place trying to find him, but he remains quite elusive. That little fuck.

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